Cops’ flash cards for foreigners

Police have been issued with flash cards depicting ‘English’ in picture format, this is because they have to deal with so many crime victims who can’t speak English.

Police waste £100,000 spying on sick officer

Police chiefs wasted up to £100,000 on an undercover operation trying to prove one of their officers was faking illness, it was revealed yesterday.

EU ban for small kiwi fruits

A market trader has been banned from selling 5,000 kiwi fruits because they are one MILLIMETRE too small for EU rules.

EU chiefs have secretly banned Britain from using the acre

Ministers killed it off when they put up no objection to a European Commission directive outlawing its use. The orders were nodded through by a lowly Whitehall official – not an elected Minister – during a meeting in Brussels last week.

‘One night chasing terrorists equals a week in Spain’

E-mails reveal police in Britain’s biggest anti-terror probe enjoyed £5m overtime bonanza. Thames Valley Police officers were told the night shifts offered ‘premium rates’ and would suit those with a ‘raging credit card habit’.

Conkers are dangerous

If children want to play conkers they must wear the necessary protective clothing such as gloves and goggles.

Entertainment license needed for sing-alongs

A hotel in Morecambe has been advised to obtain an entertainment license if more than two people are performing during their sing-alongs.

Teddy Bears encourage gambling

The new gambling act states that giant teddy bears are ‘too cuddly’ and should not be given away as prizes as they encourage gambling. It is thought that the bigger the teddy bear the bigger the chance that the child will want to win more, and will therefore resort to more gambling.